


Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome

by mimabeann



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Jedi!Gemma AU, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:22:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24509857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimabeann/pseuds/mimabeann
Summary: Skir'mir and Re'luniss search for their friend Gemma, who was taken by the jedi several years ago. Rated M as a whole just to be safe, I don't know the ending yet and some of the chapters will deal with death, characters who are struggling with finding a reason to live, and violence.
Relationships: Female Jedi Knight/Male Bounty Hunter, Gemma/Skir'mir
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. Skir'mir's POV

Five years, twenty two days, and forty five minutes. That was the last time Skir’mir had seen Gemma. The cathar paced back and forth on the bridge of his ship, earning him and annoyed sigh from the chiss at the helm. “You’re going to wear a hole in the floor Skir’mir.”  
Skir’mir huffed in annoyance and threw his hands up in frustration before running them through his hair. “What else can I do, Rel? I feel so damn useless.” He continued pacing until Rel looked over his shoulder at him with a mixture of sympathy and frustration.  
“Sit down and wait. Or go back over your weapons for the twenty-billionth time. Your choice. Should be in port in another day.” He shrugged. “My contact said he had news. With any luck he knows where to find her and we can rescue her.”  
Skir’mir frowned. “What if she likes it there? I mean… She is…” He bit his lip the second he felt it quiver. He wasn’t about to start crying over something he wasn’t even sure was true.  
Rel shook his head. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there Skir’mir. Just remember though, she’s always been a mandalorian first. And the three of us made a pact, remember?”  
Skir’mir nodded. “Thanks, Rel.” He gave the chiss a pat on the shoulder before retreating back to his room.

Skir’mir flopped backwards onto his bed and closed his eyes. He swore he could feel her sometimes like she was there with him. _And maybe, just maybe_ … He thought. Skir’mir focused his thoughts on Gemma, on every detail he could remember, on finding her, on seeing her again. He felt a familiar warm presence envelop him. It was Gemma, he knew it. He just didn’t know how to talk to her. He laid there, just hoping, desperately that she knew he was there. That he was looking for her, and that more than anything he wanted to find her. To bring her home.

* * *

Skir’mir folded his arms as he watched Rel meet with his contact from a distance. He’d been forbidden from talking to Rel’s contacts after getting frustrated with one of them and calling too much attention to them. In truth, letting Rel handle the talking was probably for the best, he’d agreed. This contact was… Interesting. A mirialan, similar in build to Rel wearing mandalorian armor with clan heraldry he wasn’t familiar with. Skir’mir pushed off the wall when he saw Rel motion for him to come over.

“You’re sure it was her?” Rel asked the mirialan in front of him.   
The mirialan nodded. “Positive. Ar’nen just got off Tython too. He confirmed it.” Rel smiled and looked at Skir’mir.  
“We’ve got a lead. You want to make his day, Rohirri, or should I?” Rel grinned.   
Rohirri laughed and looked up at Skir’mir. “I hear you’re looking for a mandalorian named Gemma, taken by the jedi.”  
Skir’mir nodded. “I am. We are.”  
The mirialan gave him a small nod. “Just smuggled my brother away from the jedi in all honesty. We ran into your friend on Coruscant. Didn’t get to talk to her or anything, Ar’nen wasn’t about to risk getting taken back and she was with another jedi that he didn’t know well.”  
Skir’mir’s heart fluttered. “She’s okay?”  
“From what we could tell, yeah. They don’t exactly mistreat their charges, though the Order certainly wasn’t a good fit for Ar’nen.” Rohirri shrugged. “Not sure where they were headed, but we’ll keep an ear to the ground.  
“Did your brother talk to her at all? Before then, I mean…”  
“Talk to who?” Skir’mir looked up at the human that had walked over, he opened his mouth to speak but Rohirri answered him.  
“Gemma, these are Gemma’s friends.”  
Ar’nen nodded. “A bit. Something specific you want to know?”  
“Do you think she wants to stay?” Skir’mir shifted in his spot.  
“Don’t know. She always seemed sad. Never really talked about why though.” Ar’nen pulled at his gauntlet. “Good luck finding your friend.” He gave them a small nod before looking at Rohirri. “It’s time, got a schedule to keep.”

* * *

Skir’mir looked at Rel as the walked back to the bridge of the ship. “We have clearance to land on Coruscant, right?”  
“I have clearance to land on Coruscant.” Rel corrected him. “You have to stay on the ship or you’ll probably get arrested.”  
“But-”  
“But nothing. I’ll go and see if I can dig up any leads. You need to stay and monitor the comms. We’ll find her Skir’mir. But right now the best thing you can do is be patient. I promise we’ll get to the part where you can help. Just don’t make me have to track down you and Gemma at the same time, please.”  
“Okay, Rel.”


	2. Gemma's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma finds out something surprising about her link to Skir'mir. Peregrine Aita & Arlen Zonwa belong to wilvarin-chan on Tumblr.

Gemma sat quietly as she focused on clearing her mind to meditate. She always found herself needing to slip away after meeting with the Jedi Council to clear her head and meditation seemed as good away as any. Even if she focused in on the attachments that they were so quick worry over. _But maybe they were right. Maybe my two identities really can’t coexist_. 

She exhaled as she pushed the thought from her mind. _No. I know who I am. Who I’ll always be. I am Gemma Vizla. Daughter of Maya Ordo and Orin Vizla. I’m a proud mandalorian above everything. And I am my own person. I won’t let the Order change that. **I won’t**. _Gemma clenched her fists as she blinked back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. She let out a shaky breath and ran her thumb over the small word tattooed on her wrist. _K’oyachi_. She exhaled again and let the thoughts slip away. “Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum, Maya Ordo, Beviin Vizla, Orin Vizla. Ner cyare'se, ni partayli, gar darasuum.” 

A warm feeling washed over her and the smell of wood smoke, gunpowder, and… _Skir’mir_. She felt a smile tug at her lips as she settled into the feeling around her. He was thinking about her again. Even if it didn’t last that long, knowing that she was on his mind was comforting. These moments were the closest thing she came to feeling at peace and at home. 

Gemma wasn’t sure how much time had passed, and she didn’t really care. She let out a soft sigh as she felt Skir’mir’s presence fade. Her eyes fluttered open and she jumped a bit. “Master Perry, I-… How long have you been there?” The jedi in front of her was watching her with an amused grin, his arms folded across his chest.   
He shook his head and chuckled. “Long enough, but you know I wouldn’t rat you out to the Council.”  
Gemma relaxed and looked down at the floor. “I appreciate it. Missing home is hard today. And being told that my attachments are a distraction by Master Kaedan for the billionth time is… Trying.”  
Perry chuckled. “Oh, believe me, I know the feeling.” 

He paused, looking at her carefully. “Gemma, do you know what a force bond is?”  
A confused look crossed Gemma’s face. “It’s a strong connection between two force users.” She tilted her head. “I know it can let those bonded communicate over great distances if it’s strong… Why do you ask?”  
“I suspect you have one.”  
“What?”  
“Just now, when you were meditating. You felt someone else, didn’t you?”  
“An old friend, but he’s not… I don’t think…” Gemma’s eyes widened.  
Perry ran his hand over his beard as he considered how to proceed. “If you want we can try to strengthen it. With some training you might be able to communicate with him.”  
Gemma felt her heart racing. “Really?”   
He nodded and smiled. “It’s a possibility. I should probably teach you more shielding techniques too to keep the Council from bugging you over something else as well.”  
Gemma laughed and smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

“Do what makes you happy, I’ve told you that before. You’ve got a good heart and I know your judgement is solid. Don’t let the Council make you think it isn’t.” He grinned. “Come one, we’ve got some research to do, need some reading material while we’re on our way to Dantooine. We can go collect Master Arlen and Elhark afterwards.”


	3. Skir'mir's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a sad one guys. There will be some referenced/mentioned character death/injuries and blood, but I’m not going into any sort of graphic detail (and I promise, things work out well for him in the end, he’s just got a lot of healing to do before he gets there).

The loud beeping of the holocom pulled Skir’mir from his thoughts. “Yeah, Torr?” Skir’mir asked as he answered the call and a familiar cathar’s figure flickered into view.  
“Khomo asked me to give you a call, you’re near Nar Shadaa, right?” Skir’mir watched as Torr fidgeted with his armor, something was concerning him.  
“Yeah, what’s going on?”   
“We haven’t heard from Neirin and Ceera in a week. Grim can’t get him to answer, and his ship hasn’t left port. We need you to check. He was due back a few days ago. It’s-” Torr paused, looking concerned.  
“Not like him at all. I’ll have Rel turn around. We’ll go check. Send the info to the ship and we’ll be there in a few hours.”  
“Done. Bring them home, Skir’mir.”  
Skir’mir nodded before switching the comm off. “Rel, we have to go back.”   
“Everything okay?”  
“I don’t think so. Neir’s missing. Torr’s worried, he didn’t cuss at all. No one can get Neir on the com. He was on Nar Shadaa. I… I don’t have a good feeling Rel.”

As they stepped into the hangar bay it was clear there’d been a fight. Crates with blaster scars, ruined supplies, and a number of gangsters in Black Sun regalia were strewn around the hangar. Blood stains led up the loading ramp of the ship, as if a body, or several, had been dragged up the ramp. _No. No, no, no, no, no, no_. Skir’mir ran forward, brushing past Rel. “Skir’mir, wait!” 

“Neir?” Skir’mir called up from the bottom of the ramp. Something shifted in the ship. “Neir, is that you?” He started up the ramp, carefully. Rel chased after him, drawing his blaster before proceeding up the ramp. As they got to the common room they found Neirin, caked in dried blood and looking haggard, sitting deathly still as he looked over the five carbonite coated bodies laying in front of him. Skir’mir didn’t have to look to know who they were. “Neir.” Neirin lifted his empty gaze to meet Skir’mir’s. Skir’mir was at a loss.   
Rel studied Neirin carefully, tucking his blaster back into his holster. “You’re hurt.” Neirin gave a short half nod before looking back down at his family. “We’ll get them home Neir.” Rel’s voice was soft. “We’ll do everything we can.” Neir shook his head.  
“Gone. Need to be buried.” His voice was hoarse and raspy. “I killed every last one of those piles of shit.” He let out a hoarse cough as a tear rolled down his cheek. “Shouldn’t have left them-” He started to sob.  
“Then you’d be dead too.” Rel cut him off. Neir’s sad eyes met Rel’s as he choked back his tears.  
“You’re not givin’ up yet. You know that, right?” Skir’mir asked. “Ceera would kick your ass Neir.” He leaned down and offered Neir a hand. “Can ya walk?” Neir nodded and took Skir’mir’s hand, pulling himself to his feet. 

Neirin shook as a sob wracked through him while he watched Rel and Skir’mir carefully and gently laid his wife, two children, and mother-in-law and father-in-law into a cushioned crate to transport them home. Skir’mir walked over and pulled Neir’s arm around his shoulder, placing his own arm around Neir for support. “K'oyacyi, vod.” Skir’mir whispered. “I’ve got you.”

* * *

Skir’mir laid on his bed. He couldn’t focus enough to reach out to Gemma. Today had been… Draining. And he knew it was a thousand times worse for Neir. He knew the numbness of that type of loss and what it felt like to be left to pick up your life again after that. It sucked. Everything about it sucked. 

He sighed and pulled out his holopad, deciding that writing Gemma another letter she wouldn’t be able to read any time soon might at least help him make sense of all of this. Might help him feel close to her again. He knew they were doing the right thing, that Neir needed them, and that Gemma would be proud of them for helping. But he knew she’d be gone by the time they got to Coruscant. But she was strong. And he was still coming. 

_Gemm’ika,_

_I know you won’t see this probably until I see you again. But. I dunno. I miss you. I miss talking to you. Just everyday things. And especially about the heavy shit. Could really go for a hug after days like this. Ceera and the twins are gone. So are her parents. Neir’s alive but he’s hurting, we all are. Same thing we went through as kids. I’m still out here looking for you. Thinking about you every day. Going to take us a bit longer. We’re dropping Neir off on Genosis. Then we’ll be right back on your trail._

_K'oyacyi, Gemm’ika. I miss you. And I won’t rest until we find you.  
_

_-S_


End file.
